"I don't know I'm feeling very confused. I haven't made anything up I just find it hard to accept that it was this damaging and that actually it really wasn't that bad and I dealt with it fine. Can anyone identify? I feel all over the place and think she must be lying, but then why does she say it. She is a very experienced therapist who I have worked with for years and in whom I have complete trust. I just feel a complete fraud and a mess."

Willowleaf, I think I can relate. SometimesI think it can be a matter of perspective. When we are in a bad situation it may not look as bad or abusive to us...as it does to others.

I will give you a true example from my own life. It may be triggering, sorry:

I thought I had told T all the "big" traumas. But I asked her about a situation that happened to me when I three.


I told all this to T and I didn't think much of it. Sure, it was embarrassing and made me angry. But I didn't think it was abusive. I was surprised T thought so. She explained to me that my father was supposed to protect me.

The event didn't seem that abusive to me because I was in the middle of it. I wasn't looking at the event through anyone else's lens.

Is that possible for you, too? Are you too close to the event to see it as abusive or traumatic?
I hope this helps you.