Quote:
Originally Posted by ex vivo
For example, I had very strong stomach pangs as longing feelings for this person who was basically a total stranger to me 2 weeks prior. It's as if I was possessed by something when I picked up the phone and called him when I had the longings (later realized these somatic type of memories are not uncommon with dissociation which starts pre-verbal) This was not something I could choose!
The younger the trauma, the more the defenses are woven into your self and cognition. It can be really dangerous for a therapist without competence to provoke the collapse of these defenses. What happened to me was really dangerous. This is not the same as managing feelings within the realm of natural relationships. These are flashbacks, dissociated content, PTSD, whatever you call it. It never was a choice.
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ex vivo, interesting post and sounds rough, sorry you went through that. Have you tried anything like EMDR?
If you don't mind my asking, what was the trigger that set off the longing and other reactions? I had a somewhat similar experience in terms of sudden overpowering longing that turned to obsession. But there were no flashbacks or obvious somatic stuff (though I do get a lot of stomach pangs in general, as a visceral response to any anxiety or fear). My T became visibly emotional in response to my own emotions, and then I was never the same again. I have wondered in what way my defenses were taken down and what it points to.