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Originally Posted by kala83
My mother and I have a fairly similar way of dealing with things it seems like.
she is fairly negative critical person....and if I am asked to do something or forget to do so. Or do not do it the way she wants..
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Yes, definitely. I relate. Critical over the most trivial things as well. It has left me with a passionate dislike for critical people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kala83
or just tell I am sorry i can't do that....
I get a fairly similar reaction. My mother personally seems like a very narassitic type of person. She will often turn a situation around and have it be entirely about herself and how it effects her.
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I think that my mother has strong traits, at the very least. As you say, it all comes down to being about them or reflecting on them in some way. I was supposed to take care of my mother and never bring her stress or embarrassment, to never disappoint her.
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Originally Posted by kala83
Even when it orignally was me trying to confide in her about issues with my own mental health. With her basically making comments along the lines of " do you think you are the only one that has issues or stress in your life?"
And then will basically try to sit there and talk to me like i am the equivelant of a therpaist for her.
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I'm sorry. That is so invalidating.
My mother thinks I'm her therapist, rescuer, fix-it person -- you name it. I was always the person who was supposed to soothe her and make it all okay for her.
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Originally Posted by kala83
and she will complain about things that I do that she does not like towards, me not realizing or just caring that what she is saying at the time.....comes off as being hurtful for me to hear. Cause she is venting to me about things I do that she does not like toward me. Instead of talking to someone else so as to keep my feelings on the matter in mind.
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Lack of consideration and empathy for our feelings and welfare. Do you find you've withdrawn from seeking or relying on any validation or positive regard from your mother? That's how I am with mine. I still hate that feeling of being called "bad", or having it implied, though.