Quote:
Originally Posted by kamikazebaby
Yes, definitely. I relate. Critical over the most trivial things as well. It has left me with a passionate dislike for critical people.
I think that my mother has strong traits, at the very least. As you say, it all comes down to being about them or reflecting on them in some way. I was supposed to take care of my mother and never bring her stress or embarrassment, to never disappoint her.
I'm sorry. That is so invalidating.  My mother thinks I'm her therapist, rescuer, fix-it person -- you name it. I was always the person who was supposed to soothe her and make it all okay for her.
Lack of consideration and empathy for our feelings and welfare. Do you find you've withdrawn from seeking or relying on any validation or positive regard from your mother? That's how I am with mine. I still hate that feeling of being called "bad", or having it implied, though. |
I think as much as most any child wants approval from a loved one epically their own mother.
whom I have been closer to then most any of my other relatives in my life.
I to a degree want her to be happy for me and to approve of things I do.
but I think as you get older and become an adult you learn that certain personality types are not going to ever be pleased with ALL the things you do. I know that as hard as I have tried to gain her approval of things even when we do not agree....its always the same way.....I just am going to emotionally feel like I am not ever good enough to her.
its a truly hard thing for me to accept in my life, because as difficult as my relationship with my mother is I will always truly love her.
but I know that I can not live my life based on trying to make her happy or approve of all the things I do...if I did I would not be bisexual...I would not have a boyfriend I love as well as two girlfriends and two other local girls I am dating as well.
but its what makes me happy for filled. I can only worry about what I have control over what I can handle or cope with...I can not control how she thinks or how she responds to things emotionally...that is on her to deal with....how she copes or responds to situations but its not something I can control. lol even if might wish to....
but I do have to deal with it when it comes up.