There may be a more positive way to consider your feelings of being a fraud. One thing that it achieves is to keep you in control. The power of being in control is a valid coping response in the face of helplessness. It not only gives a sense of agency, but also protects us from what can be a frightening level of anger about the trauma.

Maybe if you can start to respect this ability, rather than disparage it, you can begin to accept what it is protecting you from --past trauma.