Feralkittymum it's that exactly! Yes control is one of my main coping strategies and I do respect it. Without the ability to look after myself, like many of us, I may not be here today. She is trying to get me to see I don't need to rely on them all now, but I've just had a Christmas break and she inadvertently really upset me at our last session so I have reverted to all my usual strategies. Yes, we will be discussing this again, but only when I'm ready. I'm relieved to find so many of you willing to say how you can relate and share bits of your stories as I think I am starting to feel I can put it more in perspective. My t would say to stop trying to rationalise it and just sit with the feelings but they are a little to mixed up to be with and function normally at the moment! Thank you