Did you bond with your parents pretty closely growing up? You mentioned your mother doing your taxes, do you have a pretty close bond with your mother, yet? You also have a strong bond with a boyfriend, which you talk about, so it is unlikely you will be diagnosed with an avoidant personality disorder.

The bond is the thing.

In counseling I found out I have avoidant aspects to my personality, because I happened to have unfit parents who could not, would not, bond with me, not even as a baby or when I was growing up.

Since I don't bond with people, since I can't trust people, this is what makes a person too scared to associate with others, until you just don't make trusting bonds, anyhow it would be extremely hard to!

It sounds to me like you will be diagnosed with a pretty severe anxiety disorder. But the only way to really find out is to find a professional. It's hard for anybody to diagnose themselves, no matter how many books you read, because you don't have the education or clinical experience or, maybe most important, the objectivity.

I have high hopes for you, however, from what you have written it sounds to me like you have the optimism and motivation to conquer your anxieties and have a functional, rewarding life.