Every narcissist says they're misunderstood, as if they're the only victims in all of this. Yes, they are victims, but they also carry out horrendous acts of abuse against others. It's all about preserving ones own ego at all costs, regardless of the pain inflicted on others. When the mask is on, you're able to display empathy, compassion, love, etc... so you know what these things look like, and you also know they're highly meaningful to non-narcs. Yet, once you've discarded someone, there's nothing there. You know that withdrawing all of these things is highly damaging to someone, but you don't care because at that point there's nothing left in it for you. I get that you can't feel empathy, but you KNOW what you're doing is hurtful. If someone is telling you that you're hurting them by your actions, how can you turn around and say you're oblivious to it? Can't you make a conscious decision to NOT do that because it's wrong? I think you can, but you don't want to because not only do you not care, but you don't care that you don't care. And I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just putting my thoughts out there and you're free to disagree with me. I don't claim to know about NPD, but I'm basing this on my own experience.