Thread: Struggling
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Old Jan 05, 2016, 10:34 AM
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defyinggravity65 defyinggravity65 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 224
I made a long, drawn out post about this recently but I'm going to post about what I'm going through in a more general way in the hope that it will help you guys with giving feedback! Also, my other post was about one specific incident and it definitely happens more than once!
I am really struggling now with severe anxiety and OCD over episodes of false memories.
Example: Yesterday when I was brushing my hair I had a vague recollection of someone telling me I had a lot of split ends and needed a hair cut. I got a hair cut not too long ago, and don't have any split ends, so I knew it couldn't be true. But it felt like a real memory, like any old regular memory I have.
These experiences can happen to me up to 10 times a day and 99% of the time are just about little things like the example above that don't really matter too much. The memories just pop into my mind and usually I am able to know right away if they happened or not, but a few I don't know about
Like I said, it causes me A LOT of anxiety when this happens, and the more I worry about it, the more it happens. Sometimes my compulsions will take over and I will spend hours trying to find ways to validate if a memory I'm struggling with is true, which makes me feel even worse. There was one where I had recalled seeing the inside of a burning house and it felt like I was remembering a scene in a video game or movie. I watched a bunch of movies and went through a lot of video games looking for a scene that it could have been and never found anything, but felt crazier knowing that I spent hours trying to "prove" the memory one way or another, when it could have been something from a dream or even just a random thought.
I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, because I usually have always had a good memory. I feel so much anxiety when I get one of these "memories", and really don't know how to respond to them besides assuming that a psychotic break is in my near future and just freaking out about it.
Does this sound like a type of psychosis? I don't have any other psychotic symptoms that I'm aware of. I know I have OCD, anxiety, and some depersonalization due to living with the chronic anxiety.
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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ("Pure O" Type), Social Anxiety
Rx: Lorazepam PRN