Quote:
Originally Posted by hazn
Every narcissist says they're misunderstood, as if they're the only victims in all of this. Yes, they are victims, but they also carry out horrendous acts of abuse against others. It's all about preserving ones own ego at all costs, regardless of the pain inflicted on others. When the mask is on, you're able to display empathy, compassion, love, etc... so you know what these things look like, and you also know they're highly meaningful to non-narcs. Yet, once you've discarded someone, there's nothing there. You know that withdrawing all of these things is highly damaging to someone, but you don't care because at that point there's nothing left in it for you. I get that you can't feel empathy, but you KNOW what you're doing is hurtful. If someone is telling you that you're hurting them by your actions, how can you turn around and say you're oblivious to it? Can't you make a conscious decision to NOT do that because it's wrong? I think you can, but you don't want to because not only do you not care, but you don't care that you don't care. And I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just putting my thoughts out there and you're free to disagree with me. I don't claim to know about NPD, but I'm basing this on my own experience.
|
I get that you must of went through something that your not too happy about. Let's also agree that not all with NPD will be identical. Sure our traits mimic one another to a certain degree but some of us do act or re-act different to one situation than the next. NPD equates to people who think MOSTLY about their self. This is why it becomes difficult for others to understand how someone can be so thoughtless and so on. To make comments such as "every narcissist say's" and so on is not very constructive. A person with a N can leave even with the pain they may have now found, they are able to move on and find the greener grass. For us we are forever bound to ourselves, some feeling better than others but all have a broken something inside and misunderstanding of what's "acceptable" in this world. We are the victims in a sense, it's not just the one's around us. I suppose it's like a heroin addict, we are the heroin and we will always be the heroin. The user decides if they want a fix or they don't. We adapt to this world in a way you will never have to, we are constantly modifying our behavior whether it's realized or not. Let's be open minded here as this is the place to be so, we are not the only issue here. There seem's to be some kind of connection that satisfies so many with wanting our type close to them. So many time's I hear about all these multiple partners one has had that are all problematic. I guess we do fill voids for some time, it's just that the outcome isn't always great for the one who is staring into rather than out of the mask!! I do appreciate the resistance though, even if you're doing it to get back at your ex N. Just remember it wasn't any of us.... Or was it?? LOL