Hi all,

This is my first actual thread / post. I'll give a brief synopsis of my situation, but I still need to do an introductory thread I guess.

Long story short, In 2011, I was abruptly and unethically abandoned by my former female therapist of 5 years. I can explain more in my intro post. It absolutely devastated me. I didn't think I could ever go back to a therapist. In 2013, I had bariatric surgery and my surgeon highly recommended I go to an eating disorder specialist about my food issues. I was hesitant, but decided to try it again with a male therapist thinking that I would only discuss those issues. (i was incredibly naive I guess) It's been about 18 months, and I feel like we have a good rapport and connection, but I still haven't really developed a complete trust in him that he won't abandon me the way my former therapist did. He knows about everything that happened with her and agrees that what she did was unethical and understands why I'm so terrified of trusting him completely. We have talked about transference issues, boundaries, etc and he's tried several times to reassure me that he's not going to abandon me the way she did. I wish I could let what she did to me go, but it's so hard. I don't even want to trust other people in my life. I've always had issues in that area, and my former T was the first person that I EVER trusted 100% and told my deepest darkest secrets to.

Any thoughts or suggestions or advice? I've made good progress with him, but there are things that I really should talk to him about, and I know there is transference beginning to happen and I'm incredibly scared. I want to believe him when he reassures me and it's like 95% of me trusts him, but former T made me feel so safe but then she turned on me.

Current T does EMDR and has extensive training in trauma. He has not really mentioned trying EMDR around this issue, but I'm wondering if anyone here has tried it and had success.

That was way longer than I meant it to be. I would love to hear any thoughts, success stories, etc. Thank you.