Sunny, Alex, Hopefull - thanks all for your thoughful responses. I'll have to come back after work and re-read everything again.

I think that it is true that some people need to know that it is normal to feel a certain way. My T makes this comment to me occasionally. For me, I don't really worry about if something isn "normal" or not. I don't mind being slightly abnormal, so it is not comforting, but just good information to know.

Alex, you and Sunny both had nice self soothing suggestions. I can feel the calmness in them. Unfortunatley when I feel my worst, those things seem to gentle to me and other less positive actions seems to be more appealing. (some SI and the like). Self soothing takes time and the effect isn't immediate. Normally I'm a patient person, almost to a fault, but lately I can't be patient with myself. I haven't given up I will continue to listen to those suggestions from this board and my T. One day at a time and see what happens.

Hopefull, you are right I've read in several places that a divorce is very similar to morning a death. That seems to resonate with me.

It is interesting how talking with friends helps some but not others. It hasn't really helped me. Co-workers/friends don't seem to completely understand the time it will take to feel "better". (Sunny - so true! I am in no mood to hear other's divorce stories from hell). They seem to equate my ability to do the work of getting a divorce with me actually feeling good/postive. Those are very separate things for me. I can do paperwork for days and still feel depressed. My T has said that is not true for some people, that they are immobilized by the depression.

((hugs of thanks)) to you all. I'll see what T says this afternoon.