Quote:
Originally Posted by marmaduke
Mother micro controlled everything in a way I cannot describe to any one.
Except you.
I sat still, silently, trying to be invisible.
I fell down the stairs top to bottom, heavily, bruised, l shook. She smiled.
I was about 8. I knew. I was on my own.
She crushed any joy, couldn't bear me to smile.
Never told me or guided me about girl stuff. When a period came I thought I was bleeding to death.
The stupid ***** had told me nothing.
She made me terrified of the world.
She monitored toilet habits and the amount of toilet roll I used. Said I used too much. That made her angry.
Mother told me she hated me. Hated being in the same room as me. Said I made her feel sick. Told me I stank. I would scrub myself in the bath to get rid of the 'smell'.
Mother abandoned her first born in whom she had no interest.
She destroyed the person I should have been and for that I hate her.
Hard to understand isn't it, when you get your own child and feel that deep unconditional love. You realise how helpless, powerless a small child is.
And wonder, what type of evil creature treats her own child so badly?
OH YES THAT RAGE IS FIERCE
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Hard to understand isn't it, when you get your own child and feel that deep unconditional love. You realise how helpless, powerless a small child is.
And wonder, what type of evil creature treats her own child so badly?
Not to me lovely.. I feel your hurt and your rage and the pain and the memory of the powerlessness with every fibre of my being.
I'm your witness today,you have walked in the same shoes as me for more than a life sentence and at an age when that was way beyond devastating.
I feel you. I feel this just as you say it. As a Mother who would walk through FIRE for her child and as a internally shattered survivor of a monster who masqueraded as and was believed to be a Mother by significant others.
I'm here for US ! xx BH