I'm going to be upfront and say that I don't believe in transference beyond it being a natural reaction to being hurt in EVERY situation, not just in therapy. I think you are wary and I think that is normal and healthy too

I had a very similar experience and it messed me up badly in the spring. It was after 5 years for me too. I have come to realize that complete trust like that is not neccessary healthy and if it feels unnatural, you can't push it. You don't need that kind of trust for therapy to work. I now realize that complete trust in anyone is unsafe and unhealthy and I would be wary of any therapist who expected it. I think maybe instead it's healthier to work on how to deal with the abandonment fears and how to try to calm yourself. Also, maybe a med change would help? I never thought meds would help me with my obsessive fears of abandonment, but I honestly believe finding the right one got me through the past year alive.

There is refuting evidence about the efficacy of EMDR. You can look up studies on it online. It has helped some people here.

I also have trouble trusting anyone in the mental health field now. But my new therapist is actually helping me learn to cope better and take care of myself better instead of only talking. I think in a way, those abandonment fears in my case come from the fear that I can't take care of myself.

Bariatric surgery is hard. Has he helped you learn any coping mechanisms to replace overeating? Are you getting your protein and vitamins? All that stuff affects my mood and anxiety a lot.