I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend a few months ago. This is someone I talked to nearly every day for good portions of that day. This was someone I could spend time with when everyone else seemed to forget that I existed. Sometimes It's like begging people to spend time with me.

I get that it's hard for people because I work 3rd shift. In all fairness though, I don't think the hours of 6-10PM are unreasonable times to hang out. It's not like I want to spend time with my friends in the early am or in the middle of the night.

Anyway, things took a turn after I said the 3 words that I'd convinced myself not to say. I said "I love you" and she disappeared on me. She avoided me after and I got the hint for space. So I backed off. I get random texts from her when she wants attention and I try my hardest not to give in.

It's been nearly 6 weeks and I haven't been the same since. I miss her but I also don't want to see her or hear her voice. I find myself avoiding places and people that could cause us to cross paths.

When I go on dates and the chemistry isn't there, I get angry at her all over again because she and I had amazing chemistry and she cheated me out of it.

I don't know how to deal with this. I would like to go and do what I please without not having a sense of dread that I'll encounter her. I'd like to be able to let go like she has.

Any advice is welcome. Winters are usually hard for me, but this situation is dragging me down more than usual.

Thanks.