I think she is just saying if you do this, it HAS to be your decision and you have to do it for yourself -- not for anyone else, including her.
I had to do this many years ago. It was a horribly difficult decision, but to continue exposing myself to that individual kept me in constant crisis and turmoil. It was hard to set that boundary concerning that individual and brought some things to a head. In the long-run it was absolutely the right decision for me, but it was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made.
My husband has had to cut out pretty much his entire family which is very painful for him because, regardless of how dysfunctional they are, they are still his family and he still loves them and longs for what they just simply can't be for him. He knows he has made the right decision for himself, but that doesn't keep it from being painful. It is a huge loss.
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