If I'm talking about something shameful, it takes an incredible amount of effort to look at my T for even a second or two. And, he has to very gently encourage me to even be able to do that. Even when I'm not in an extremely vulnerable state, I still don't make a ton of eye contact with him, but it's definitely easier than when I'm crying and/or experiencing a ton of shame. One of the most healing moments in my therapy with him was when I was all out sobbing (for the first time after over a year in therapy with him) and had myself all balled up in a chair with my head buried to the side. He asked me to look at him so I could see that he wasn't angry or upset with me (like my mom always was when I would cry). I did it, and it really was helpful (even if I only looked for a couple of seconds).