Originally Posted by hazn
Every narcissist says they're misunderstood, as if they're the only victims in all of this. Yes, they are victims, but they also carry out horrendous acts of abuse against others. It's all about preserving ones own ego at all costs, regardless of the pain inflicted on others.

I used to think along the lines of it's all about not getting caught inflicting the abuse. If I'm caught (trapped) then my ego would be insulted and within a split second have gone up a gear or two or ten depending on the situation or the person or not bother at all - the part that says I can get away with anything or instantly come up with a better plan because basically I would think the other person was an idiot for not seeing through my crap or falling into my trap, which is believing me.

It took years to see the damage I was inflicting on myself and others and when the tape played back in my mind I have to admit I laughed about it, because there was the same pattern and it took years to notice, so self forgiveness had to happen for being so stupid not to see it sooner.