(((PASDEDEUX))). I am sorry for your loss and the trauma that you are going through at this time. It is Okay to feel guilt from having to put your cat to sleep. Your cat was a family member and the loss is sometimes as deep as losing a person in the family. Loss is a very confusing and devastating issues especially when you are already dealing with stressors and triggers such as working 12 hours a day. It is good that you are trying to get in contact with a therapist for help to get through the problems you are having at this time. I hope that you will persevere in the future in talking to someone professionally that can help you move on in your life. I frankly think you had your cat put to sleep because it was the most humane way of ending the suffering for your cat, even though the loss is tremendous you DID the right thing and made the correct decision. Life and Death issues are never easy but at least you are trying to get the help you need to be able to move forward. Take care. I hope things get better for you soon. Soidhonia