If I were approached by a stranger I know I could probably handle myself, but when my brother is here I freeze, I turn into that little girl again. Last year he was coming home for a visit, it was before I disclosed to anyone but my T and husband. He kept calling the house and I ignored his calls, finally with my T telling my husband in a session to handle Paul for me, the next tme he called my husband told him he wasn't welcome here, and that I was dealing with issues from my childhood and until I was ready he was to stay away and stop calling. Well the day Paul came to town, he showed up. My husband wasn't home at the time, the kids were, but as soon as he came into the house he told me to give him a hug and a kiss, I froze and did what he asked. My T happened to call, swear he has ESP, he stayed on the line with me until my husband came home about 20 minutes later. He told me that my brother was still intimidating me, and that was his way of letting me know to keep my mouth shut. He has since been here a few more times, last time he pinned me down, and......I can't say anymore on that right now.... .
everytime he shows up I freeze.........I can't say no, or fight him, I feel stuck.........I hate me for it, I am such an idot for letting him use me. My T thinks I am under reacting to his abuse, my two older brothers want to pay him a visit, I am confused on what to do, my T says let them protect me, he wants to go with them to visit Paul. I feel like nobody should hurt someone else over me, I am not worth it. I am so confused with all this, I have to stand up to my brother, to end the abuse, but I can't seem to find it in me. My T says I have to stop thinking like the abused little girl, and start thinking like the adult I am now.........this is a huge battle for me!!!! I turn the anger in on me and abuse myself. Sometimes I don't think I deserve to be happy, actually all the time lately!!