[QUOTE=sub-dural;4858572]. . . . . I'm not sure why this blog/article writer chooses to out the medical field as being cold, dead-eyed and full of boundaries. If you have a cavity, you get it filled, no need to go back again for 6months (whatever the recommendation). If you have schizophrenia or a personality disorder or an intractable depression, a 50 minute appointment one time isn't going to "fix" it. Those patients become under your care long term. That involves communication and.. well "caring." Don't choose therapy or mental illness as your chosen care specialty if you are not committed to that, in my opinion. I totally agree with what you've written here. It's how I see things when it comes to boundaries and therapy. I understand why the person might want to equate the boundaries of a dental office or a physicians office with psychotherapy, but I don't view them as the same.

The amount of infantilizing that goes on with therapists claiming to require all of these boundaries against their "weak, vulnerable, needy" patients is so absurd to me. Treat someone as a human with respect. If you are afraid of patients so much that you need to place yourself above them (not all therapists, again), then don't go into a field of care. <<---Love this.

If the therapist doesn't want email (etc, or hugs), then say it. <<--This in my opinion is the most important thing that a therapist (new or experienced) needs to get straight. Know your boundaries going into the relationship and be able to state them clearly. Don't play coy. If you don't want to be answering tons of emails, don't allow them. Don't agree to let someone email and then whine, complain or rant about the dang client abusing you. If you only want one email a week, say so. Two or three? Say so. Just know what you can handle and then stick with it. If you don't want to hug or touch in therapy, say so, but don't dance around the subject, allow it for a while and then decide it's making you uncomfortable. Jeesh, I thought therapists were the one's that had their *^%$ together . . . just kidding, I know they're just human

Also, I don't believe that boundaries are for "the good of the client". I think that's a cop out that therapist insist on. They need to get real. Boundaries can be for the safety of the client (especially, the one about no sexual contact with clients--which is crazy that anyone in a work environment needs that spelled out for them, but I guess they truly are human), but many times boundaries are really for the safety and comfort of the therapist. I wish that therapists had the honesty and guts to freakin' admit this! We all know we live in a litigious society and therapists are frightened of being sued, but it's really ridiculous to continue to insist that you're "only doing this for the client's benefit." I hate when I hear a client talk about a therapist hurting them by suddenly withdrawing a particular thing (ie. hugs, email, phone check ins, extra sessions etc.). In most cases, the withdrawal is because the therapist offered the "item" and then got overwhelmed and decided their effort to foster trust/dependence wasn't working or resulted in "regression" in the client. In other words, "bad client", you have to stop this behavior and so I'm taking this item away from you. In reality, the therapist should be owning up to his/her failure to conduct therapy appropriately and with a good solid therapeutic frame and he/she was the one who got emotionally overwhelmed.