Oh my...sounds very similar to the relationship I had with my mom only my dad was alive. Growing up & even through therapy until last year....9 years after she died I couldn't really figure out what it was about my mom that caused us to fight so bad...all my life. I was an only child also.

For me, I looked at other kids parents from outside the real relationship & they all seemed so different than my parents. I resented that feel of overprotection so I know that was part of the fight. Also for me, my mother seemed so out of touch with reality. She led a sheltered life of her own & I know I never respected her lack of self-confidence. When out in public I didn't want anyone to know they were my parents from as young as I can remember. I think while fighting hard to be nothing like her I ended up fighting her also & the things she did that I wanted to be nothing like. As a child we can be rather insensitive....she always told me that I would come to know how smart she was when I grew up but it never happened...even at the time she died she had made some really stupid choices that hurt me & even caused a trauma that caused me to deal with PTSD issues.

In my case I never grew to respect her ideas or opinions as something I could accept as my own the way she expected me to. She was also emotion driven & never thought about things logically which caused me to have even more issues with her. Basically our personalities were like oil & water....I could tolerate her while on vacation but any time I said something she would take it personally & get her feelings hurt & I never walked on eggshells for her....so we never really got along except when I was in a tolerating mood. Most times when she got her feelings hurt...I would just leave her alone. When she felt like getting over it she would call & we would go on as if nothing happened & most times I either couldn't remember even what bothered her in the first place. Growing up, we would fight & I couldn't even remember what the fight was about right after while she stewed for days

was Mostly how I felt about her all my life. Realized our minds just didn't work the same way & in reality it was no big deal.

What I did come to realize was just how dysfunctional my nice parents were....no drinking, no abuse....there was just no emotional connection to learn from which was why I didn't recognize the red flags as being as serious as they were before my own marriage....all I knew was totally dysfunctional parents I didn't understand as dysfunctional until my eyes were finally opened a few years ago....all those years I was fighting dysfunction but had no idea that was what was happening