I'm a lesbian and totally get where you are coming from. My spouse used to be in the corporate world and she dressed in business professional attire as that was what was expected back then. Macy's had a saleslady in their women's section who would outfit her perfectly. It took a lot of word of mouth to find her but she was worth her weight in gold.

What look would you want to brand as your own? Could you print some pics from the internet of fashion that interests you and take them to a department store and have them help you put together a look? Ellen is cool, what about that look?