It looks like I'll have to move asap. So far, there's a place that looks OK on paper. But it's across the country and I am not mobile so I can't go see it in person before I commit to anything. I'm terrified of the "neighbors" since their savage acting out on Saturday night. I don't think they are evolved enough to rule out their killing me. I know how dramatic that sounds, but people do get killed everyday for stupid, petty reasons.

I feel so overwhelmed trying to shop for a place across the country. I don't feel strong and I'm hardly capable. I wish I could just sleep until the end of it all. I'm so sick of surviving.

They have been quiet since they heard me walk in here today. Before that they put their noise on too loud. When they heard me walk they turned it off. I'm wondering what they have planned for overnight until I can move. The psycho upstairs was stamping in the middle of the night and woke me. I could not get back to sleep until around 5 am and then I slept until almost 11. I can deal with their stamping. I can't deal with an escalation.

I have to try to organize my thoughts but it's already hard even without the panic. With the panic I'm just frozen.