I don't know it it's love... I know I feel guilt for not being a perfect daughter and I feel responsibility because I am one of the very few family members that she has. I am not even sure what love is when it comes to mother-daughter relationships.
Talking to her more is difficult. It would mean that I would have to tell her more about myself and then she would get more involved, she would call me more to learn what has changed or maybe give me some advice... And then at some point I will lose my temper, we fight, I apologize... It's a vicious cycle - I tried it already.
In fact, after we started talking less she started doing things. She has reconnected with her sister (she lives far away) and she started taking some trips.
__________________
The thought that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains. - Paul Simon
|