I write too much, sorry.

I don't really know. It's like an intrusion, like something telling me this is dangerous somehow. It sounds so stereotypical, like I'm afraid of rejection or getting hurt, pathetic right? I guess I am. And I'm so used to not really having anyone close in my life, that it's just frighteningly different.

Oh, also they'll leave, either before I'm ready or at all. That happens with most people in my life, including the one sort-of-romantic partner I had. I see so many people who are philosophical about this stuff, that everything is temporary, etc. I recall one quote that "everything you love, you will lose. But love always returns in another form". I don't think I really believe that, honestly.