Have you ever wondered what life would look like for you without T?? You obsess over touching T, who she has sex with, whether your art is better than her art etc and it just seems like it would involve a lot of time. I'm not judging but I have had a T abandon me and as a consequence realised how checked out of my real life I was.

New T asked what I wanted to achieve in therapy and I didn't even know. Apart from a few areas of pain I am mostly ok. Ex T caused me great pain and hurt but she also released me from any thinking about her, emailing/not emailing, trying to please her funk I was in.

I know you desire an intimate relationship and I hope T can get you there but perhaps time away may also be useful?