My T likes to do SE, somatic experiencing, more than IFS, though she's flexible. A lot of time we just talk. She has always emphasized building up my Self so it can lead the parts. I don't think the object is integration, because the parts aren't bad. My T has said, for example, that the idea is for example, a child part to do what children do, which is play, and not be burdened. The parts remain "part of us", that is. When my T asks me how I feel about a part, and what can I tell that part, and asks "does that part know I'm there?", she is helping me lead the show, rather than have the part lead it. A lot of the parts that cause pain seem to be young parts, who didn't get their needs met in the past.

There are some others on here who do IFS. Can anyone talk more about getting the parts settled, and having the Self be in charge? I don't think integration is the goal. I think the opposite, separation is.