Quote:
Originally Posted by Elkino
I told my T what was keeping me from getting into action, looking for a new job. I said I was scared. T said 'Aren't you scared of everything?'.
I don't think she meant it in a bad way, but I couldn't let go of it. 
If it would be true (I'm quite sure a lot scares me these days  ), do you think a T can say it like that? I want my T to be honest. Maybe just not that honest... 
Do you want your T to be absolutely honest, even when it hurts? |
Hi Elkino,
I want and expect my therapist to be honest in his openness to accept me as I am, without judgement or criticism (and to be honest with himself if he is not able to do that, for whatever reason, as it would be damaging for me to see a therapist who was not accepting/non-judgemental). I would feel very sensitive if my therapist made blunt statements/questions such as this. If this comment hurt you, would you be able to share this with your therapist? Maybe she would reconsider how she phrases such responses to you in future...? I definitely do not feel you are alone in not being able to just let these sorts of comments go. I probably would have heard that comment as a criticism, as in 'Aren't you scared of everything so why make such a fuss about this?' I think what is 'OK' or 'not OK' is down to how you feel in response to how your therapist is with you. If things are hurtful or unhelpful to you then I don't think that is the 'right' approach for a therapist to take, but that's just my opinion! I know some people do say 'the truth hurts' but I do not think that is a helpful attitude to have when working therapeutically with 'damaged', fragile, confused, hurt people.
Phx.