My therapist at university once said, in a half-joking manner, "I'm nothing if not brutally honest."

It's true that she is honest, but she's not brutal. Well, hardly ever, anyway! There was one time, and I had only been seeing her for a few weeks, when she told me that if I continue to abuse myself the way I abuse myself at the moment I will end up trying to kill myself, but I will try and fail and then end up with some kind of permanent damage. She sees that as my end result if I don't stop being so nasty to myself.

Me: "Well, that's grim."
Her: "Isn't it just."

I was a bit disturbed by that, but I was so intrigued by her that I wanted to keep seeing her. I asked her the following session if saying that was some sort of scare tactic, but she told me it was meant as a reality check.

She's not afraid to say what she thinks, and I have learned to love that about her. She's right; I am horrible to myself, and I probably can't live like that forever. Like she pointed out: if anyone else was doing to me what I am doing to myself, it would be a really bad case of emotional abuse. She made me aware of just how much I abuse myself, and I needed to be made aware of it. It was an unpleasant and uncomfortable thing to discover about myself, but most reality checks are, and ultimately I am grateful for her "brutal" honesty.

However, she has told me that she sees me as someone she can "push", because I am strong enough to take it (though she's constantly upset because she feels she has been mean to me, bless her), so she probably doesn't say things like that to everyone. She is an integrative therapist, so she tailors her approach to suit each person she works with. She has hit the nail on the head with me; I have learned so much from her, and I appreciate it immensely.