Please re read my post again and again. Note that it mentions that people with NPD aren't setting out to hurt one who loves them, it just happens. The difference between us and them is that we can't connect to their feelings which in turn makes us seem so cold. We are not wired to understand another's feelings, I guess this is what happens when your left as a child to figure out the world on your own amongst other things. We dealt with this all internally at the impressionable age were others were loved and told things, shown and all that good stuff. Yes our wiring isn't like yours but it's what we were left with. I suppose the bad part is that we can take a person who felt they were together and strong and make them the opposite when we're done. Again not meant to do just how we're made up. Look at it on a positive note we're usually not the ones killing people physically only mentally. LOL. Laugh a little, that last one was funny!!!