How is he in the other aspects of your marriage? It sounds like he loves you and doesn't want to lose you.

I agree with BlueCrustacean, you have to have a very straightforward conversation. I have much less experience than you, but one thing I know for sure is that a lot, if not the most, of men are pretty bad with dealing with emotional women. We struggle with some things and they just don't get it. My husband is very smart and I love him very much, but he is absolutely no help when I ask for advice about dealing with my work or mother problems. I mean he does try to help, it's just not helping me.

Talk to him, find out what his deal is. Tell him what you want and ask him what do you need to do for it to happen. Tell him what upsets you.