I think if I would speak to a random pdoc right now and would be honest, he'd commit me.

Luckily I'm 1) not speaking to any pdoc and 2) if I'd speak to a pdoc it'd be my own and he isn't big on commiting people.

Sleeping pill is not working.

Trying to talk myself out of taking all the sleeping pills I have.

Trying to talk myself out of doing a whole lot of stupid things.

Those things don't actually appear as stupid now as I'd usually think they are.

I could call the facility (I'm allowed to call the ward 24/7 for help or just to talk) but I'm afraid they'd contact the crisis team and have me committed, so I'm not going to do that.

I did email my T. Hopefully she won't read the email until tomorrow.

I don't know what to do.