Well here I am...once again I have totally screwed things up for me and probably for my family. I wish that I could manage money like other people can...I have no control when it comes to a checking account! I should not even be permitted to go close to a check....
I feel like my life is spinning out of control...the meds don't seem to be keeping this overwhelming feeling of loss of control of things in check...I am wondering why in the world I am even alive..I am not worth the dirt it took to shake off someone's shoes to come in the door.
right now I am really hating myself more and more...I can barely look at myself in the mirror...I am such a disgusting terrible person...I shouldn't be allowed to walk around as a person...I am more of a subperson.

Life Sucks!!!