It is easy to quit pot while in hospital as I have no access but take me to a party with joints being passed around and I am not sure I am strong enough yet to say 'No'. I think I am going to have to be careful where I go for a while. I also had an alcohol dependence which will be even harder to avoid. I think I am going to let myself drink at social occasions but not on my own. I just can't imagine giving it up completely. My doctor increased my Lithium, added Saphris and removed regular clonazepam. As I was on 8mg a day of Clonazepam it will take me a while to ween off without having major withdrawals. I want to be off it though as it clouds my thinking and i have university starting up in a month. Hopefully I will be able to get discharged next week.

I am feeling a bit better but not quite strong enough to live alone surrounded by temptation. I have thrown out all my pot, well my Mum made me throw it out, and told my dealer not to sell to me anymore (he is a good friend). My Mum was very mad at me for smoking all day everyday as it was sabotaging my mental health. I have never seen her so angry with me as she is a beautiful, gentle soul. He love for me rove her rage. With one hand I would be doing all I could to be mentally stable and with the other I would sabotage all my efforts. Why I don't know.