I thought had a number but turns out they were trivial in the larger picture. I had this heroic vision of therapy as me having a couple of "aha moments" and then step out of the office as if having reached Nirvana and be at peace. But that never happened.

Or to put it in another way, I have had some aha moments, and they happened at the level of the mind, but my heart has none because it needs more than moments to process emotions. It seems eventual acceptance comes in bits and pieces, slowly and over time.