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Even though you don't like opening up, it's good that you posted here. It's anonymous so it's a safe space to do so, you should get some good feedback, and it's a step on the way to opening up more in real life. From reading your post it seems like you have a lot of fear and doubts, about yourself and about life. A therapist who would work on those issues would be helpful. Since your self-esteem relies hugely on making money, you may have to just take a job you're not really excited about. Lots of people have to work jobs that they don't really like-- it's a trade-off for getting that paycheck. Try to stop thinking it doesn't seem like a job will ever happen, and turn your thinking toward "when I get a job" to help you be more positive. I hope you have good luck and get a job soon.
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission
Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well.
"Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]
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