Hey Sleepy,
Sorry I took so long to post, I jsut saw this today. Don't beat yourself up, it just makes it a lot harder to say no the next time. I struggle with alcohol also. I have not drank in 8 days and trust me it is very hard. I still struggle with if I am an alcoholic. I was sober for 3 years at one point, I think that is what I did wrong. I just said I was alcoholic because it was expected, but I never truly admitted it to myself. I still don't know if I am or not, but I am going to find out and that is what you need to do sleepy. You need to find out if you are an alcoholic or not. Sorry I can't really help you anymore than this, because I still am searching for my own answers. What I do know is that if I don't pick up the drink I dont get drunk, which gives me a clear mind to figure out my questions and answers.
Nicole