OneWorld: I've thought about this quite a few times, and I'm still not entirely sure either way. Knowing does answer some questions, and I guess I prefer to know.

Brassyhub, reading and thinking about what you said, yeah, you're right, being angry at someone for something that isn't of their control is unfair.

I put a bit of thought towards it, and I think the best way I can put an analogy together to describe it to someone on the outside is like this:

As best as I can figure it, her way of viewing our relationship is like a roast dinner. The different parts of the meal represent all of the aspects of our relationship, friendship, companionship, trust, love, family, intimacy, and so on. You can eat well and feel fulfilled without having to eat everything on your plate - if you don't like beans, you leave them and eat everything else - maybe compensate by having an extra helping of roast pumpkin. The meal still fills you up and you enjoy it.

To me the relationship is more like a cake. The aspects of the relationship are represented by the ingredients, and while you can still make the cake if you leave an ingredient out, the cake isn't quite right. Depending on the ingredient left out the cake may taste a little funny, it may be too soggy, or it may just crumble altogether.

That's about as close as I can come to explaining my situation - hope it helps anyone who was curious.