Is there anything you can do in the meantime to prevent you from being in full blown relapse mode by the time your therapist returns? It sounds like you know what you have to do - you just need to find it in yourself to want to do it. Could you start with something small - maybe making sure you eat something for every meal, even if it's an ideal amount or try to start keeping a food diary on your own again. If you don't have any left over, I'm sure if you google it, you can find some. The other option is to refer yourself to your nutritionist now. It sounds like you know you're headed for trouble, and I know this has been an issue for you for quite a while, so I'm sure you know how much harder it is to get back the further into the disorder you go.

You can do something to help yourself. I really believe you have the strength to do so. You just need to find the motivation.

At one treatment center I was at, they focused a lot on our values and what kind of person we wanted to be. That helped me a lot, everytime I wanted to engage in a behavior, I would (try) to think is this taking me towards or away from my goals and values. IDK if that helps any, but maybe something to think about.

What are your goals and values? What matters to you?

Hang in there.