Quote:
Originally Posted by rouge198
I used to harp on my dad being a narcissist because it was comforting to know a condition that seemed to be beyond his control was to blame for his inability to parent. Then I did some research and sat with myself. I realized that npd was for me easier to swallow than the fact that my father made a choice to be what he was (and still is) to me. Right then I cut his supply. It's been three years almost and he still comes sniffing around for attention and affirmation from me when his latest victim wises up and jumps ship. I put my hand up and direct him to look elsewhere, he always tries again. It's never about me and always about him needing validation and affirmation. However, non narcissists gold the most power because we given narcissists significantion. When we take that away, we render them ineffective. My father avoided me for the first time in my life last summer and I was so happy, I nearly cried. I live in a new house in his mind. He understands that no matter how many times he tries, I will not give him what he wants.
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That's interesting, because for me personally, it's definitely better understanding the actions of narcissistic disorders as being the result of variances of the human psyche that has made it easier for me to distance myself from emotional tie-ins with the NPD's (and other Cluster Bs) in my family and thus bettered my opportunity for personal sanity. When I did still look at their actions as primarily being choice-driven, my emotionality over it was only fueled in an unfortunate way.
I'd so much rather support healthy emotional distances through identifying the differences between us in a clinical way (and, of course, not giving anyone enough rope to hang anyone anymore) than by having those distances be the result of what anyone did or chose. The B cluster is just not a place I've found to be beneficial for the investment of any intense emotional energy, positive or negative.
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“We use our minds not to discover facts but to hide them. One of things the screen hides most effectively is the body, our own body, by which I mean, the ins and outs of it, its interiors. Like a veil thrown over the skin to secure its modesty, the screen partially removes from the mind the inner states of the body, those that constitute the flow of life as it wanders in the journey of each day.”
— Antonio R. Damasio, “The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness” (p.28)
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