I know I should be proud of myself, but I am not. I keep beating myself up about everything. I just can't seem to let it go. Today I have been wanting to si so bad it is unreal. Drinking doesn't sound so bad either. I guess I should cut myself some slack, because at least I havent done either. I just hate myself for even thinking of them as options. I don't want either one to be an option but it is. Anyway I am rambling

Nicole