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Moonkin said:
I have preteneded this therapist was right for me. I went in with her being my 4th therapist, confident, hopeful.
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I am so sorry you had a horrible session. But please.... please don't think that this isn't the therapist for you just because of one bad session. If you have been reading my posts lately you will see that I had three or four very bad session in a row... but this didn't change the fact that my T is the right one for me. Bad sessions happen. I have been with my T for 2 years and bad sessions creep in all the time. I know it feels awful... it can take over, make it seem like the relationship is ruined. You might be having trouble tolerating more than one feeling for her at a time-- meaning when she's good, she's all good... but when she's bad... she's all bad... And right now you may only be able to see one side of that. And that's alright for now... But I just wouldn't want you to let it ruin your working relationship. It sounds like you have something going here. Please try and build off of your session. That's what I do when I have a bad session. When things are better with T, we process why the session went bad. It turns out making the relationship stronger in the end.
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I went today with a note which I previously posted a thread about. The note told her secrets I was afraid to say face to face. I cried the whole session so bad my noes started bleeding when i walked out. I also bit my lip and made it bleed...........she told me she didnt know what to saay,..the session was quite most of the time with just me crying,..and every little bit she's ask me what i was thinking about.
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I think that the fact that she said "I don't know what to say" is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes Ts really don't know what to say... so instead, they are honest and then they just sit with you and experience the emotion along with you. Next time you see her, bring this up. Maybe try and find out what she was feeling during this experience. Let her know how you perceive her reaction.
