I just had a lightbulb moment where something you've been thinking about why all of a sudden comes crystal clear to you. Well I've been trying to figure out why I don't take my Provigil anymore and why I've got 2 months of it stock piled. Well I notice that when I'm starting to go downhill I start to stockpile things, pills,food,clothes,plastic sacks from walmart anything and hoard it. Well I guess this is the beginning of a slide and I am wondering do I call my T and let him know of this lightbulb moment or do I wait til Monday? I am scared that the poop will hit the fan for whatever reason and I'll take them....don't get me wrong I'm not planning it I just know me. I know that when the chips are down I throw in the towel and say to the heck with it I can't handle it so I'm going to die. What if when I talk to dad tonight about me having $20 he says no and gets all nasty and I freak and down 2 months of provigil other than being awake for a week what will that prove? It will prove I'm not good enough again. Anyway I'm rambling so will stop now but the q is do I call my T or save it?

Janniebug