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Originally, I stopped doing those things because I felt guilty that I was excluding him (which he brought up in counseling, I exclude him) but I had to do something for ME and so I now go at least 3-4 times a week to ride my horses and be active and go on jogs.
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You are excluding someone if you keep them out of something
that they otherwise can do. Here I think it is his illness, not you, that is "excluding" him. Are you expected to stay home 100 percent of the time if that is what he is confined to doing?
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But, he has to be realistic and so do I. I want someone who can do these things but my fiancé can't. And its not his fault, but it is reality. So what do I do?
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You are allowed to want someone who can be an actual physical partner. If he can't be that person, you are allowed to look for someone who can.
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But, now it just seems like I'm his support system. Which means I get no support at all.
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You feel more like a caregiver than a partner.
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Sometimes I want someone to take care of me, yknow?
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Yes. But I gather that this is a big part of what you are feeling guilt about.