It seems to ramp up more intensely in times of stress and big change for me. It's my favorite obsessive thought spiral to go to. Sometimes I think it may be my mind's way of saying "NO! DON'T CHANGE! DON'T BECOME HAPPY! Keep focusing on him and not YOU!"

Or maybe it's just pure escapism. I don't know, I'll try to just stamp this out I guess, whenever it comes up, instead of trying to figure it out. I hope that isn't repression.