I know it's hard for you to understand, with all the stuff going on in your head. I just get the sense from what you've said that they're really trying to figure out ways to help you.

I think that a therapist or psychiatrist wouldn't get into the field unless they wanted to help people. (It's a lot of work to go through just to try to trick people.)

Could you just try to believe that they really do want to help? I know it can be scary to trust people, but maybe try trusting them as much as you can, and see how it goes?