Well, you're not crazy, but your situation is quite difficult. I hate seeing threads with a lot of time, a lot of views and no answer, but i can't actually give you a reasonable advice since i'm almost a kid

One thing i may say, DON'T look for her, zero facebook, and threat her as you wold threat ANYONE (don't ignore her, but also don't look for her).

And, since your situation is quite hard, i think is good to seek for help in this kinds of sites, but some profesional help wouldn't hurt anyone. That's what i can tell you.