Well, I think you do assume a lot......

Dollars to donuts this guy is intimidated! A fancy place puts pressure on things to be something "more". Why can't you do something fun and casual? Why do things have to be fancy?

I think you are blaming this guy for not being perfect but are unable to see your own role in the dynamics of this relationship. You leave out key parts in all these posts you make. I am getting the feeling that he's not the big jerk you've painted him to be.