I feel like you should work more on your confidence. Obviously your struggling whether or not you were at fault in the relationship or he was. Once you know yourself so well to the point where you can immediately determine whether or not your the "narcissistic" one or he is, its like a breeze through life making decisions. It makes so much sense doesnt it? Knowing how you work, and once you learn these things about yourself, you can't really get away from it